this ‘devotion’ i am referring to is the daily quiet time that we Christians are encouraged to have every single night, reading God’s word and coming to Him in prayer. all this while, ‘devotion’ was just another synonym for ‘quiet time’ and meant just making a habit, and lifestyle, of daily commitment to God, setting aside some time before sleeping to read God’s word.

however, getting together with Audrey changed my perspective altogether. every night, i would make sure i called her or communicated with her in some way. above that, i would give her my best time at night, a time when i wasn’t sleepy, and a time when i was fresh and in good condition to listen to her and to talk as well. this wasn’t just a ritual or a habit. it was something that i wanted to do, something that i looked forward to doing.

it took me a few months before i realised that this is what ‘devotion’ really means.

thus, i found that in the same way that i showed devotion and love to Audrey, i should show my devotion to God. this is the attitude i should adopt for my nightly devotionals with God. not only should i yearn and look forward to hearing Him speak to me through His Word, i should carry the same excitement to speak to Him through my prayers while making sure i was in the right state of alertness and peace to hear from Him as well.

this is what ‘devotion’ truly means, and this is the attitude  i now strive to live by.

no matter how old he becomes, he will inevitably look for the assuring embrace of his mother because one knows that he is in good hands that have so expertly loved and cared for him all these years. no matter how tough a guy is, a wave of sickness will reignite this need in him for that tender touch, for that warm, assuring presence of a mother who knows best. thanks for being there for me, mum. nonetheless, i’m gonna have to toughen up even more cause i know there’ll times when i’m away and i’ll need to fend for myself. but till then, having you there is something i will always cherish.

albeit with a much different style as compared to mothers, fathers seem to provide that pillar of strength i can hold on to in my sickness and struggles. that calm visage exuding that feeling that all’s in control and that i have nothing to fear produces a sense of peace that is invaluable. although you may be quiet, the love you have for me i fully sense, and i wholly appreciate. thanks, pa.

our Father in heaven, the Jehovah Rapha, is the one who is in control. He has the power to give, and to take away any illness or infirmity. faith that my life is in Him and that He only has the best for me gives me such divine assurance that everything will be fine and that these struggles will be for my good. i confess that during such times of discomfort in illness, i tend to neglect calling out to You for Your healing that is better than any medicine or treatment. Lord, help me to change, and help to rely on You even more, in all situations. let me know that in all things, human strength has it’s limitations, but Your strength and power is limitless. ‘not by might, nor by power, but by Your Spirit’.

finally, in my sickness, i find that i’m missing you even more. maybe it’s that desire for your presence, maybe it’s just the want of having you by my side. yet i know that though we may be apart, you are still with me. you said we needn’t hold hands to hold on to each others’ hearts and that’s so true. just the knowledge that you are there, thinking of me and praying for me, is sufficient. just being able to hear your voice cheered me up considerably. sorry i made you worried. i’ll do my best to stay strong and healthy and i pray that you’ll do the same. don’t feel bad bout falling asleep. like i said, just knowing i was in your thoughts was sufficient enough. thanks for being there. i miss you.

you may know a person for so long without actually knowing that person, while someone you have known for a fraction of that time can end up understanding you more than these ‘old’ friends.

not that i’m discounting any old relationships. on the contrary i treasure and cherish them deeply. however, firstly, you can have many old friends but those whom you can really share your heart with are but one in ten if you’re fortunate. secondly, the time span which you know a person does not automatically determine how well you actually understand and comprehend the thoughts and feelings of that person.

just as that one friend in ten with whom you can share your heart, having someone who is able to really know you in the entire sense of the word requires something special; it needs that special connection.

i believe that we are special; and that we do have the special something.